Monday, November 9, 2009

Bitter Sweet Treat

His teeth pressed through the firm consistency of the jelly bean as his mouth exploded in saliva.  A moment later, as if it almost had been present before his mouth watered, the sweetly sharp tang of fresh peaches bit into his tongue.  The taste washed over him as he began to chew it into a gummy pulp.  Swallowing, the pulp raced down his throat, chased by a tangy aftertaste.  His mouth grew chalky and robbed of moisture as the poison absorbed into his bloodstream.

"Peach, nice touch," croaked Robert as his throat closed up and he slumped over dead.


  1. One paragraph devoted to one of many samples passed around by the instructor with the intention to write about taste, smell, or touch. I picked a peach Jelly Belly jelly bean. Considering how badly I had to hit the can it's not too bad.

  2. The sweetness biting into his tongue....I like that.

    The hook at the end was a "nice touch" as well. Keep writing.